If, however, you have a tin ear for music, it’s time to feverishly hit repeat on some pretentious tracks that you don’t actually like. Those who neglect this duty shall be granted a Wrapped that leaves them ostracized by their friends and family (sorry, grandma). For those of you in the latter camp, I have some tragic news: you’re already too late. Tracking for this year’s Spotify Wrapped ended on October 31. Your impending round-up is now at the mercy of the algorithms. The news has shocked and enraged Spotify users. Militant activists are now (possibly) taking up arms, burning effigies of Daniel Ek, and marching on Spotify’s headquarters. The more merciful protestors, meanwhile, have taken their distress to Twitter.
— gagayaw (@gagayaw) November 2, 2021 While some users despair, others are preparing ruses and excuses:
— anna ♡ (@teethlikearms) November 8, 2021
— Scarleth doesn’t do drugs ? (@clittenkitten) November 2, 2021 Despite the impending traumas, some sadists are actually looking forward to the revelations:
Giving very much “Scooter hacked my account!!!” pic.twitter.com/zFIRwjddWk — kyle (@blkboybulletin) November 8, 2021 Amid the doom and gloom, there is a reason to rejoice: we — I mean you — can now spend the rest of the year listening to music you actually like, rather than the tracks you think that you should like. Furthermore, your Wrapped should be free of the excruciating Christmas songs that dominate the festive airwaves. I nonetheless urge Spotify to extend its cruel deadline for Wrapped. The lonesome months of November and December have been neglected for far too long.
